11/20/12
No Job
Yesterday was probably one of the worst days since I lost my job. I had no want to do ANYTHING. The house is a disaster zone. It is just not big enough. I would post pictures but I am that ashamed of how our house looks. I know Steve is working hard to compensate for the fact that my last paycheck STILL hasn't shown up AND my unemployment is who knows where... So we've been literally living on NOTHING for 3 weeks. I'm tired of people making comments about my family being on assistance. It's not like we abuse it. We use our food stamps to put food on our table for the month. 3 people 320$ for a MONTH. and that's what we use. I know a manic phase is kicking and and there seems to be nothing I can do to stop it..... So far I've been able to keep myself out of bed for most of the time. But I have a feeling it's going to get harder to do.
On a good note, the puppies are mobile! up and walking, yipping, wagging tails, and BARKING!!! not even three weeks old.
Working at dollar tree tomorrow from 3-10:30. Hope it goes by quick
Love Always,
Nickie
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My Boys
My whole world in 1 picture
Our Boy
Don't worry about the house right now. I JUST did a gut cleaning Sunday after letting mine become a cesspool and it took 8 hours but when I was done, I felt like a million bucks. It kept me busy, and I still have more to do which I'll be attacking tonight. don't let yourself sink down below life level or you'll never get out. I FORCED myself to clean and it did help A LOT. I cried a few times, listened to sappy music, but got shit done. As sufferers of bipolar disorder, we thrive on busy work otherwise our minds take flight into dangerous territory.
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