Still alive

I have slowly been picking up the peices of steve leaving. I have also had to say my final goodbyes to Dave I guess. He was the one who said he wanted to stay friends and that lasted for three days and then he stopped picking up the phone for me and deleted me from his myspace so whatever. I'm done with the childish bullshit. I am done playing the games I am going to be me and be who I am and if they don't like it to fucking bad. I never feel right when I pretend to be someone I'm not. Yes I am a single mom. Yes i still put a lot of faith in my friends. My friends are like family to me and if you don't like that to damn bad. I love being the center of attention. I mostly hang out with guys, but i am getting a few "girlfriends" too. I am a flirt. Deal with it or leave. My family is super important to me. I can yell rant and rave about them all I want. You'd better never say a word against them. We are extremely close. Insanly close almost...But we like it that way and will always be like that.

I have started hanging out with my girl Jess... the past is the past and that's where it will stayt as far as old shit. I am talking to my son's biological father and he wants to be in Jake's life and I see no reason for him not to be. I am also over the "babysitter" bullshit. It no longer matters.

Even people's lives who seem perfect, aren't. Nobody is always happy... that's why happiness isn't everything being perfect, it's looking PAST the imperfections. So i need to quit comparing my life to everybody else's. I have the only thing in the world that matters to me and that is Jacob Anthony 12-09-04. <3 I may not be the best mother in the world and I'll admit i've made mistakes but hey he knows i love him and i try the best i can to make sure he's happy.

Love Always,
Nickie