Depression Setting In

I am by nature the "strong" one. I can get through anything and survive more things than many other people do. But on the inside i am a insecure female who feels like there is no one there to listen to me. I know i have aquntaintences and i think i have a few real friends but even those friends i have i wonder why are they friends with someone like me. I always question if they're really my friends or if they are using me for something. Its a very disturbing thought, I feel that i am extremely obese and that my hate for myself rubs off on other people. I have no self control when it comes to food and emotional eating. But then i get upset with myself for not being stricter on myself. I am sorry for those of you I have been ignoring or feel that I'm ignoring you but when my depression and low self esteem kicks in, i don't talk to anybody. I don't do anything EXCEPT be alone and get very emotional. So if i'm not crying, i'm super frustrated, if i'm not frstrated, i'm super pissed. hopefully this won't last long, but i am unsure do to the season and the other things going on in my life that just seem to keep adding up.
Love Always,
Nickie

only have a few minutes

I am majorly stressing about money. Jakes school f**ked up so now i have to pay his baby sitter extra money that I DON'T have so she'll watch him all week since he won't be in school. Bills are gonna start piling in soon, i have 1/4 tank of gas my last paycheck was short due to my suspension so GRRRRR!!!! not enough money to go around. Dave's court date is this week so i'm freaking out about that. He keeps calling. and that's upsetting too. Just uhhhh!!!! as well as i think i'm getting post holiday blues. well my few minutes are up i have to go back to work.
Love Always,
Nickie