Depression Setting In

I am by nature the "strong" one. I can get through anything and survive more things than many other people do. But on the inside i am a insecure female who feels like there is no one there to listen to me. I know i have aquntaintences and i think i have a few real friends but even those friends i have i wonder why are they friends with someone like me. I always question if they're really my friends or if they are using me for something. Its a very disturbing thought, I feel that i am extremely obese and that my hate for myself rubs off on other people. I have no self control when it comes to food and emotional eating. But then i get upset with myself for not being stricter on myself. I am sorry for those of you I have been ignoring or feel that I'm ignoring you but when my depression and low self esteem kicks in, i don't talk to anybody. I don't do anything EXCEPT be alone and get very emotional. So if i'm not crying, i'm super frustrated, if i'm not frstrated, i'm super pissed. hopefully this won't last long, but i am unsure do to the season and the other things going on in my life that just seem to keep adding up.
Love Always,
Nickie