Getting irritated

I feel I've been really patient with Tony when it comes to child support. I've left him alone about being in so much debt, I don't care that he doesn't see Jake. I just leave him alone I don't ask for anything I don't threaten to put him in jail or anything like that. I feel I've been extremely understanding about him abandoning his son but come on enough is enough. He owes like $16,000 and even though he doesn't pay it, I am still responsible for making sure Jake has everything he needs. I know a lot of guys bitch about having the child support money they give women being spent on themselves but if you think about it, who's to say the $20 SHE took from her wallet to buy the child shoes wasn't money she was going to use for something she needed so when the child support comes in she uses $20 of that for what she originally needed. Its a thought going through my head right now b/c that used to be something he bitched about from his first baby mama. But it's amazing that he owes me enough money that i would be completely set for a year at least with taking care of everything. It's insane and i have no idea what to do about it.
Love Always,
Nickie